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| f*cking crazy, I know right.
Okay, so about two months ago... (March 19th to be exact) Manuel dumped me again.
Which is part of the biggest reason that I haven't been on here. I have been super depressed..
still am super depressed. Idk what to do with myself. Its like the first time.. but like ten fold.. because this time
i have no hope that he is going to come back. Its really over. :( My heart is megabroken and I just don't know what I can do about it. Nothing. There is nothing I can do
to alter or change my situation. I have little to no friends.. and now I have no best friend (hence that
is what he was to me).
I still cry every day. I haven't really eaten or slept worth a shit. I've lost twenty lbs..
and I have nighmares every night. Last night it was that he found someone else..
which is probably reality. I don't know. He basically said he wasn't ready for this.. and never spoke to me again.
EVER. He hasn't said a word to me.. after dating for three years ... he won't say a word to me. I tried to contact him once and he didn't respond.
Last night I sent him a text just saying I hoped he was happy and everything was perfect for him told him he was still my heart and that i loved him (yeah.. i know, i'm an IDIOT).
of course he hasn't responded. I don't expect a response either.
Anyways. I'm torn up. I feel like nothing and so depressed.. and there's just absolutely nothing that I can even do about it.
This is my life now. and it sucks without him.
( i also failed a class or two because i just quit going to class because i was so devastated) tootaloo. | | |
| I really think its not right to let her compete.
Jenna, Ms. Canada.
She's been physically altered and in heart she feels like a woman.
She, is a he.
Maybe I'm "close minded" or whatever,
but I just think its unfair to let someone compete who isn't a naturally born female.
I agree with that.. that's always been the rules.. so why do they have to bend because one boy wants to cry about it?
His DNA is still male.
So if a man gets a sex change and wants to compete in the female olympics, is that fair?
If a woman gets a sex change and wants to stay in the military male barracks, is that right? HELL NO. She shouldn't be allowed to compete. She is no she.
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| Is happening in my life, I just don't much feel like talking about it. I don't much feel like anything. I just work and go to school and go to volunteer work.
I'm feeling a bit like a failure at everything.
I have been very much thinking about going to a therapist. I don't know what going on with mebut my emotions are incapable of being controlled.
During the day, its not bad. But morning and nights are always the hardest for me, for some reason.
I just want a distraction.
Honestly. I want friends.
I hate that I just don't have a group of friends.. much less time to just go hang out and be me for a while.
I waant a big group of girlfriends. I think this is the first time in my life I have ever felt this way. But I'm friend lonely.
And I don't like it.
And I'm so busy.. I don't know how to change it.
and honestly, if I wasn't.. I don't know how I would make an effort to change it.
I wish I wasn't a leader.. but I am. I need a leader in my life.. so for once, I can just follow along and do what everyone else wants to do.
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| All the hate I'm ready towards Snookie and her pregnancy. A happy moment in this young girls life and she's trying to make a change and every one can only comment about how much she drinks.
You guys don't know her personally, and you sure as hell aren't there to see if she's drinking now through her pregnancy.
And to the people saying some people "shouldn't have children"
Who are you to talk?
You think you're more capable but you're so unaccepting and close minded?
Negativity is sad, and I wish the world was a more positive place :(
This woman and her fiance have a gift and they said they weren't gonna mess it up.
Granted, they're in the media, negative things will be said.. but its just overwhelming how many negative things I'm reading about her.
This is a pregnancy, and the only words that should be said are congratulations.
Congratulations y'all :)
Best wishes and I hope for a smooth and wonderful pregnancy.
I hope your baby doesn't ever have to run into these evil people :(
but unfortunately, the world's an evil place. | | |
| For so long, I've pretended that I didn't feel this way anymore.. but its just not true. I used to tell myself all I wanted in life was to be happy and the reason for living was love. I tell myself so much, but I've finally stopped listening.
Have any of you ever felt so hopeless? In so many ways I do.
I'm not someone who's going to go and commit suicide, that's not me.
I'm already dead though.
I have been for a very, very long time.
Ever since I can remember I have always felt that life was so pointless.
And I have always wondered if there was much more point to the after-life.
I just don't understand life and I don't understand why God gave it to us.
If all he wants is us to praise him then why is there all the other things? Are all the pleasurable things in life related to Satan?
Why are all the good feelings the bad ones?
I've been unhappy all my life. I give advice, I put on a charade that I know what I'm doing and I love my life.
I don't love any life.
I don't see the point.
Everyone has to work so hard to enjoy life... and they spend so much time working for it.. life passes them by.
This is my life. I am doing everything typical and expected.. I don't have a life of my own.
I have a life of expectancy that I live.
I don't want to live.
I don't see the point.
Why do we wake up every day just to commit to the same routine.. the same thing as everyone around us?
I don't want to wake up tomorrow :(
I don't want to be alive.
I don't want this at all. Everything just seems so hopeless and pointless.
You live to die... | | |
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